I used to be a control freak. I do not want other people interfering with my life. Looking back, this was probably because I grew up with no freedom at all. During my childhood days, I was only allowed to play outside for a few minutes. Until high school, my parents accompanied me even during Saturday practices or if we had to finish a group project.
In college, I had a taste of freedom and I abused it. I felt that the only person who will care for me and protect my interest is myself. If I felt right about doing something, I just went ahead to do it even if other people says it would hurt me or compromise my safety.
That was also why I became an activist. I lost faith in God, I lost faith in the society, in the government, and I lost faith in people who say that they are concerned about my well-being. I became an activist because I believed that I, together with other people who believe and fight for the same cause, have the power to break the chains of oppression. I believed that if I did not do something to change the status quo, no one else would. I remember a line from one of our anthems: "Wala tayong maaasahang Bathala o manunubos." For a moment, I truly believed that statement. I did not debate God's existence. But I stopped believing about His relevance in my life. I just thought about Him as an omnipotent entity that exists outside time and space that has no connection with how I live my life or what I would like to do with it.
When I got married, I had the same attitude. I made all the major decisions, especially when it comes to where we will live or how we will spend our money. I had total disregard about what my husband thought or how he could have decided during those moments. That took a toll on our marriage and we went through rough moments in our relationship and we almost lost each other.
During Last Sunday's worship service, I realized how God controlled my life, even when I did not want Him to. Even during the darkest days of my life, even when I did not want His presence, He was always there for me. I realized that my stubbornness led to some difficult stages in my life. After all, God can forgive us, but we have to face the consequences of our disobedience. I also realized that what I know about myself and about my life is nothing compared to what God knows about me and what His plans are for me.
I do not know what's ahead of me. But I do not want to be a control freak anymore. I want to surrender my life to the One who knows everything. I want to surrender my life to God because He cannot change for the better because He is perfect, and He cannot change for the worse because He is holy. He is sovereign and no one can force Him to do anything. Most of all, He already gave me the best testament of His love for me when He allowed His Only Son Jesus to save me from eternal death when He died on the cross for my sins.
God knows best and I will let Him be in control of whatever happens from now on.
For those who would like to watch the video of last Sunday's worship service at CCF, please click on the link below:
Trust God: He Knows Best - Joby Soriano
3.17.2014
2.21.2014
Why God “ALLOWED” Adam and Eve to Commit Sin
Note: Original article was first posted here.
When I started re-reading the book of Genesis last December 2013, I decided to write down all the questions I have that do not have any answers. Among the questions I have written down were the following: 1) Why did God allow the serpent (Satan) to enter the Garden of Eden and tempt Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, and 2) Why did God not come earlier so that He could have prevented Eve from eating the forbidden fruit?
All of these questions meant a lot to me because I already had an idea that all the pain and suffering we are experiencing in this world is due to our sinful nature. I used to blame Eve and Adam for eating the forbidden fruit, because if they had not done so, we could all still be living in the Garden of Eden by now. These questions haunted me and even when I am already reading a different book, there are times when I would stop because I could not understand why God who loves us so much would just allow something like that to happen. I just kept on reminding myself that God will reveal the answers to my questions in His perfect time, and all I have to do is wait.
God did not make me wait long. Since CCF and Pastor Peter Tan Chi is discussing the book of Genesis since the start of 2014, I finally got the answers to my questions, and much much more. Before “The Fall” of Adam and Eve, God did not put any restrictions on them, and this includes being exposed to Satan’s ploy and temptation. The enemy is bent on separating man from God and he would do anything in his power in order to achieve this goal. This answers my first question. Now my second question is a bit more difficult to answer, since it basically challenges God’s intentions and capability. Translated, what I am really asking was if God loved us so much, why did He allow us to be separated from Him, and if He is really powerful and all-knowing, He should have known what Eve was going to do and should have stopped her from eating the fruit. My last premise also questioned God’s sovereignty. During the message, I realized that my second question is totally wrong. I was too proud to question three of God’s qualities – His sovereignty, His omniscience, and His lovingkindness. The main point of Adam and Eve’s fall is not about why God did not stop it; it was all about the disobedience of Adam and Eve to God’s rules. God did not create us to become robots or zombies; He created us in order to love us and so that we can worship Him. He created man in His own image, thus giving us the ability to decide for ourselves.
My greatest learning from last Sunday’s message is this: Satan aims to make us focus on the things we do not have instead of being thankful for the things we have. God did not promise that we will know everything. He promised that He will be with us if we obey His commands. I’m sure that as I read the other books of the Bible, I will have more questions. But instead of letting this questions hinder me from getting the most of what I can from God’s Word, I will just focus on the things that God wants me to know and understand. He even made it clear in the book of Job that we will never understand everything, because we were not there when He created the heavens and the earth, and we will not be alive long enough to learn everything. However, God has revealed the most important truth, which is our salvation through His Son Jesus Christ. Knowing that and accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior is the first step towards getting to know God more.
For those who would like to watch a video of the worship service at CCF last February 16, 2014, please click the link below:
Assume Responsibility: Follow God’s Instructions (link to CCF Website)
When I started re-reading the book of Genesis last December 2013, I decided to write down all the questions I have that do not have any answers. Among the questions I have written down were the following: 1) Why did God allow the serpent (Satan) to enter the Garden of Eden and tempt Eve to eat the forbidden fruit, and 2) Why did God not come earlier so that He could have prevented Eve from eating the forbidden fruit?
All of these questions meant a lot to me because I already had an idea that all the pain and suffering we are experiencing in this world is due to our sinful nature. I used to blame Eve and Adam for eating the forbidden fruit, because if they had not done so, we could all still be living in the Garden of Eden by now. These questions haunted me and even when I am already reading a different book, there are times when I would stop because I could not understand why God who loves us so much would just allow something like that to happen. I just kept on reminding myself that God will reveal the answers to my questions in His perfect time, and all I have to do is wait.
God did not make me wait long. Since CCF and Pastor Peter Tan Chi is discussing the book of Genesis since the start of 2014, I finally got the answers to my questions, and much much more. Before “The Fall” of Adam and Eve, God did not put any restrictions on them, and this includes being exposed to Satan’s ploy and temptation. The enemy is bent on separating man from God and he would do anything in his power in order to achieve this goal. This answers my first question. Now my second question is a bit more difficult to answer, since it basically challenges God’s intentions and capability. Translated, what I am really asking was if God loved us so much, why did He allow us to be separated from Him, and if He is really powerful and all-knowing, He should have known what Eve was going to do and should have stopped her from eating the fruit. My last premise also questioned God’s sovereignty. During the message, I realized that my second question is totally wrong. I was too proud to question three of God’s qualities – His sovereignty, His omniscience, and His lovingkindness. The main point of Adam and Eve’s fall is not about why God did not stop it; it was all about the disobedience of Adam and Eve to God’s rules. God did not create us to become robots or zombies; He created us in order to love us and so that we can worship Him. He created man in His own image, thus giving us the ability to decide for ourselves.
My greatest learning from last Sunday’s message is this: Satan aims to make us focus on the things we do not have instead of being thankful for the things we have. God did not promise that we will know everything. He promised that He will be with us if we obey His commands. I’m sure that as I read the other books of the Bible, I will have more questions. But instead of letting this questions hinder me from getting the most of what I can from God’s Word, I will just focus on the things that God wants me to know and understand. He even made it clear in the book of Job that we will never understand everything, because we were not there when He created the heavens and the earth, and we will not be alive long enough to learn everything. However, God has revealed the most important truth, which is our salvation through His Son Jesus Christ. Knowing that and accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior is the first step towards getting to know God more.
For those who would like to watch a video of the worship service at CCF last February 16, 2014, please click the link below:
Assume Responsibility: Follow God’s Instructions (link to CCF Website)
1.31.2014
All His!
I was looking for some inspiration so that I could finish a pending writing assignment. I suddenly remembered that I have a blog! My last post was almost two years ago. I felt a bit sad for wasting my private virtual space by not posting anything while a lot of things are happening to me that I ought to share with everyone.
So many wonderful things have happened to me ever since I started this site. Unfortunately, I was not able to document everything day by day, and now I need to catch up on a lot of things. If you knew me two or three years ago and you have not seen me since then, you would probably think that you are talking to a different person.
As I look back and read my previous posts, I chanced upon a post I made last May 2011 (you may read the post here). My last two paragraphs read:
“What I have realized at this point is that maybe, God is telling me that I still haven't surrendered everything to Him. I want to, but I still don't trust Him enough to believe that He can give me anything if He wants to and that He has a great plan in store for me and my family if only I let Him manage my life for me.
The next time I speak my mind, I am hoping I would have a better understanding of what I need to do with my life. For now, the best thing I can probably do is to learn how to let go of all my worries and just have complete faith that God has a bigger plan, and that I am one of the major players in His plan.“
I am just amazed at how God really answers our prayers. It just so happens that most of the time, we just forget about praying about something that we do not appreciate when God gives us what we prayed for. On my part, I honestly do not remember having written this almost three years ago. I am happy I did because now I have something to look back to.
Last week, my husband and I attended a 2-day leadership conference with the theme: “All His.” The conference focused the importance of surrendering all aspects of one’s life to God. I am grateful that ever since I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, God has always been faithful and He was always with me. He never failed to take care of me and pull me back whenever I went astray and away from the rest of His flock.
The conference reminded me and my husband that we need to surrender everything to God in order for us to experience the best plans He has for us. This is easier said than done. It is easy to say that I surrender my time to God today and then forget to read the Bible and pray the following day. It is easy to say that I surrender my finances to God and not give back to Him through tithing and prioritize bills and other expenses. It is easy to say that I surrender my talents to Him and yet not use my skills and talents in order to glorify Him.
From being a lost sheep, I am now God’s sheep and God’s slave. I was bought and redeemed at a price; I was bought by Jesus’s blood spilling on the cross. No amount of money, time, or talents could compensate for what Jesus did for me. And I thank God for leading me back to Him. I thank God for not giving up on me and still loving me when I was still unclean and full of sin. I thank Him for cleansing me with the blood of Christ so I can be with Him in eternity when the right time comes.
To show my gratitude, I am giving all of myself to Him. I end this post by sharing one of my favorite Christafari songs entitled “I Surrender All.” To God Be All the Glory!
So many wonderful things have happened to me ever since I started this site. Unfortunately, I was not able to document everything day by day, and now I need to catch up on a lot of things. If you knew me two or three years ago and you have not seen me since then, you would probably think that you are talking to a different person.
As I look back and read my previous posts, I chanced upon a post I made last May 2011 (you may read the post here). My last two paragraphs read:
“What I have realized at this point is that maybe, God is telling me that I still haven't surrendered everything to Him. I want to, but I still don't trust Him enough to believe that He can give me anything if He wants to and that He has a great plan in store for me and my family if only I let Him manage my life for me.
The next time I speak my mind, I am hoping I would have a better understanding of what I need to do with my life. For now, the best thing I can probably do is to learn how to let go of all my worries and just have complete faith that God has a bigger plan, and that I am one of the major players in His plan.“
I am just amazed at how God really answers our prayers. It just so happens that most of the time, we just forget about praying about something that we do not appreciate when God gives us what we prayed for. On my part, I honestly do not remember having written this almost three years ago. I am happy I did because now I have something to look back to.
Last week, my husband and I attended a 2-day leadership conference with the theme: “All His.” The conference focused the importance of surrendering all aspects of one’s life to God. I am grateful that ever since I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, God has always been faithful and He was always with me. He never failed to take care of me and pull me back whenever I went astray and away from the rest of His flock.
The conference reminded me and my husband that we need to surrender everything to God in order for us to experience the best plans He has for us. This is easier said than done. It is easy to say that I surrender my time to God today and then forget to read the Bible and pray the following day. It is easy to say that I surrender my finances to God and not give back to Him through tithing and prioritize bills and other expenses. It is easy to say that I surrender my talents to Him and yet not use my skills and talents in order to glorify Him.
To show my gratitude, I am giving all of myself to Him. I end this post by sharing one of my favorite Christafari songs entitled “I Surrender All.” To God Be All the Glory!
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